Tuesday 13 September 2016

ইচ্ছে হলে

ইচ্ছে হলে পুচ্ছ ওড়াও
বাজুক মাদল তা  দ্রিম দ্রিম
ইচ্ছে হলে উঠুক জ্বলে
প্রদীপ যেন আলাদিন

ইচ্ছে হলে মন মাতালে
সবুজ ঘাসে জল ফড়িং
ইচ্ছে হলে সাগর ঠেলে
পাহাড় চূড়ায় স্বপ্ন দিন

ইচ্ছেগুলি জিইয়ে রাখাই
জীবনের বড় দায়
ইচ্ছেনদীর ফল্গুধারায়
সবাই বড় নিরূপায়

তবু জীবন দূর্বিপাকে
ইচ্ছে যখন যায় হারিয়ে
মানুষের-ই হাত ধরে
ইচ্ছে আবার প্রাণ পায় ।

The culprit that distracted me repeatedly while I was desparately trying to focus at studies of my 10+ something niece for her tomorrow's Physics Test.

Sunday 11 September 2016

What Should You Do When Everything Goes Wrong

Code Failed!
Not much ago, at most three years back, I could write scripts like a charm. After doing my initial development in Core PHP with inception of Class and Objects, I didn't hesitate to try out a PHP framework - CakePHP. It became my dream as I could do virtually anything with Cake.

And then, a big period. Nothing eventful happened during the past two years as I decided to give all my efforts a period eventually after a span of non-stop struggle from the age of 17. I thought and somehow convinced self enough is enough, and from that point onwards I decided to focus only on my family and job, and on nothing else nobody else for some very personal reason.

I disconnected all social connections apart from my job, my family and very intimate family friends. I stopped checking out Facebook, Twitter and everything else. I stayed away from my circle of musician friends. I did what I could to keep inside self imposed confinement. And whether I was happy or not that I do not know but I literally had lots of time.

Earlier I used to spend few hours in a week in creative writing. In order to stop all connections, I stopped writing as well. As such nothing substantial came in my mind to write.

Anyway, things have again shifted in the meanwhile. And I have been greatly motivated and supported by some of my well wishers to resume my activities. And I have already started to work on a software project, but..

Where am I now?
Believe me I'm lagging far behind in every respect. Can't write good content, could not manage to write a story for a magazine, most of the time stumbling hard to get through each step - it is an almost perished creature left with me now.

Hours ago tried to figure out a simple algo in PHP but failed.

From this stage to go back to top, I'll require immense effort and dedication. And now my key constraint is time. My days are heavily occupied. How can I afford to spend 12/14 hours a day now?

Don't know really.

Still I'll try. Still I'll try to watch how the darkness of night succumb to dawn as I develop a new algo, how the songs of morning birds help me to score my new lyrics, how I can manage to come up in front of this world after regaining my lost dignity. I'll continue my journey for prosperity from this moment onward till I reach the first benchmark.

I'll share the story of my journey with you for your support and review.

Stay safe.